Resting, Surrendering, and Laughing!!

Hey friends!!

I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop in Parramos Guatemala, and figured I’d write you guys a quick little update!

Wow God has shown me so much this week! Ministry has been going incredible! Over the last two weeks, we partnered with two other missionary groups! One was from London, and the other from Chicago. It was so fun being able to do ministry with them, and I miss them so much! We were able to paint the entire three story Reindom school, and put on a VBS in the different villages every afternoon. I LOVED VBS!! The VBS was creation themed, so all of the crafts and activities were nature and animal themed. Alana (a girl from Chicago) and I were the “adventure buddies” and began every VBS day with a silly and fun introduction! We definitely brought the hype and excitement for sure:) These kids LOVE dancing! There was so much laughter in the afternoons during VBS, and it brought me so much joy! Getting to know the people from London and Chicago was so fun! Meeting new people who speak English, and hear their stories on how God called them to Guatemala. My team was actually a surprise to them! They didn’t know we were already partnering with Reindom ministries, and were quite happy when they found out they had extra help! At the end of our first day of ministry together, we had a giant dance battle between the people from London, the Americans, and the Guatemalans! This was definitely exciting and so fun!! I laughed so hard as the people from London and Guatemala had all these proper dances that reflect their culture, and we showed off with the cotton eye Joe and the church clap…

While ministry has been fun, incredible, and so fruitful, it also has taken me to a new level of self sacrifice and exhaustion. This past Thursday (activation and ask the Lord day!!) God changed my heart in such a way I wasn’t the slightest bit prepared for. I woke up Thursday morning, and felt so spiritually heavy, tired from only sleeping 5 hours that night, and mad for reasons I couldn’t even put into words. I go to worship in the dinning area at 9:30am like a normal activation day, and it was the first time in months I’ve shown up to worship not being in the heart of worship. I was standing there, fighting back all my emotions, and trying to look as normal as possible. The first song we start singing is “Praaaise the Lorddd! Oh my soul!” That was the last song I wanted to hear. I was struggling so much and wrestling in my heart and mind with things I couldn’t even put into words in the moment. All I hear is a quiet whisper from God, and He says, “just sit at my feet. I care for you.” As soon as I sat, I started weeping. Face to the ground, probably leaving a little puddle from my tears, and He met me. God met me where I was, and assured me He cares for my wordless emotions. I just sat in His presence crying for the rest of worship, and it was the most rest I had felt in a long time. It’s crazy how just 45 minutes in God’s presence can make you feel more rest than a whole nights sleep.

After worship, we sat through a sermon that practically slapped me and many others in the face. It was all about obeying the word of God, how we justify our sins when we lack fear of God, and we minister to the heart of God with our obedience. How obeying God just comes natural and more desirable when we spend more time with Him and say no to our flesh. She asked us two questions. One, if no one ever knew your name, or anything you did to further the kingdom, would you still be chasing after Jesus? And two, what is something the Lord is calling you to put on the altar and watch burn away to dust before you? I wrestled with these questions as we sat alone with God for an hour after the sermon. I found myself on my knees, face to the ground again, with a completely changed heart from when I walked into worship just that morning. It was humbling. I came to God with an entire heart of surrender, as He started pointing out things left and right that I needed to lay on the altar and sacrifice for Him. Things that found themselves prioritized above Jesus. After I surrendered them to Jesus, I felt so free! Things I thought were benefiting my needs, were actually adding more weight and stress because I wasn’t going to Him first. During my alone time with God, I read the whole chapter of Psalm 119, and it wrecked my heart even more. This is a beautiful chapter reflecting God’s heart and character!

The rest of this activation day was spent reflecting with the Lord, and just resting at base, so I’ll tell you guys about last Thursday’s activation day! Junior (a guy on staff with Adventures in Missions in Guatemala) and his wife, told my team we were going to do a house visit in Parramos. I instantly felt a little nervous just because this was my first house visit. They told us we were going to a woman’s house from their church, she had three kids, had a miscarriage for one of them, and her husband works far away and only comes home once a month. She went through the miscarriage alone because of her husband being at work. Junior’s wife came with us to her house, and for my first house visit, it absolutely broke my heart. As soon as I met this woman, all my nervousness completely went away as I felt so much empathy for her. We stood in her kitchen just carrying on small talk through Junior’s wife being our translator. I felt so heavy even through small talk. I felt this woman’s emotions and burdens. Two girls on my team, Esmé and Clara, prayed over her as we all layed hands on her. Before we left, my leader, Libby, explained how proud Jesus is of her, how much He loves her, and how she’s such an amazing mom. I look over, and this woman starts weeping. My heart felt so much for her, and I also start crying. I gave her the biggest hug I could before we left. I was so sad to leave her as she kept thanking us over and over again for coming to visit her. As we were walking back to town where the van was, we passed an older woman sitting on the side of the road holding a little girl. The Lord highlighted her to me, so I looked behind me to see all of my teammates also looking at each other. God highlighted this woman to all of us, so of course we turned around and walked up to her. She was immediately so excited to talk to us about her family and her 42 grandchildren. We explained how we wanted to pray over her and asked if there was anything she needed specific prayer for. She was so excited to hear that we were Christians, and that we were out evangelizing. She asked us to pray for her neck. She had a raspy voice and no money for medicine. We prayed over her, and she was so thankful. This woman radiated such joy and love despite her circumstances. I left last activation day with such a fire. This has my heart. I prayed for Jesus to truly break my heart for what breaks His. I want to surrender even more so He can see more fruit of His suffering.

WE HAVE SUCH A GOOD GOD AND WE CALL HIM OUR FATHER.

Here’s a little fundraising update! God has so far brought in $14,875!!! Leaving me with only $2,625 left! Thank you guys SO MUCH. Thank you for giving God your yes in partnering with me financially! It means the world to me that I have you guys behind me supporting me with prayer. Living in another country is so incredibly fruitful, but it isn’t easy, so thank you for your prayers! I love you with my whole heart!

Until next time friends,

Ashley:)